My Interview with MR. DOBBS

He’s cute, he’s nude, he’s got ‘tude. Meet Dobby.

KATNISS: Fur the record, you are not a Sphynx, is that right?

MR. DOBBS: Dat is correct. I’za not a Sphynx meow-meow. I’za mew type of breed called ze Ukrainian Levkoy, currently only recognized in Europe. However, I’za vas born in America, so I’za legal US kitteh citizen.

KATNISS: You are a very mewnique cat in that you seem to enjoy baths.

MR. DOBBS: Fur-om ze beginning hooman and I’za made a deal. She vould purrvide all dat I’za vant and need, as long as I’za don’t (unintentionally) make her sick wif my dander. So we’za agreed dat I’za take baths every week. Hooman puts on ze relaxing music, lights a scented candle and vaits on me-ow hand and paw. I’za try not to stay in too long… I’za vouldn’t vant to come out pruney.

KATNISS: If it’s not too purrsonal, are you, um, toilet-trained?

MR. DOBBS: I’za vorking hard to finish my training, I’za have no shame saying dat I’za on ze intermediate stage. I’za making purrogress.

KATNISS: About those humiliating hand-knit sweaters your hooman makes you wear… do you like actually like them or do you pre-fur to be a nudist?

MR. DOBBS: Ze female hooman has no talent fur making me-ow clothing. However, I’za do appreciate ze effort she makes in keeping me-ow warm.

MR. DOBBS: I’za also think ze hoomans purfer me in clothing because dey are jealous of my flexibility in cleaning dos hard to lick areas. If I’za could go naked, I’za be naked every day in ze sun.

KATNISS: Tell me about those fishies you love to eat.

MR. DOBB: My fishies are ze best thing hooman has every gotten me-ow! So full of flavor! So crunchy! Oh right, sorry Iza get carried away, ze brand is Vital Essential. Hooman buys me-ow ze dog-sized bag and keeps dem in a heavy glass jar I’za can’t open (yet).

KATNISS: You want to be a therapy cat someday – please tell me meowr.

MR. DOBBS: Vhen it comes to becoming a therapy pet, I’za have a long vay to go, I’za need to be more tolerant of ze doggos, not just Sam (he’s a doggo dat lives wif my grandpawrents, he smells). It’s hard finding doggos, safe places I’za can explore, and other cats I’za can meet and vork on my therapy skills wif. So it’s all moving very slowly.