My Interview with BRONSON the Cat

Bronson is a big boy on a quest to shed extra pounds – and for that, we give him 2 big thumbs up.

This is the story of Bronson’s purrsonal weight loss journey.

KATNISS: How did you get so big? Was it the Party Mix? That’s my weakness fur sure.

BRONSON: Hmm. It may have been the never-empty food dish. Or no one to play with. Also, I’m kinda lazy.

KATNISS: That is a defining quality of us cats.

BRONSON: Yes, but when my owner died, I may have also been guilty of stress eating.

KATNISS: But then you wound up at the Humane Society of West Michigan. And that’s when things turned around for mew.

BRONSON: Yes. A couple came into the shelter to adopt a kitten… but then I saw them checking meowt.

KATNISS: Humans are drawn to fat cats because the extra blub looks cute on us.

BRONSON: And I was 33 lbs. of cuteness.

KATNISS: I suspect that when you drop the excess weight, you’ll still be supurr cute.

BRONSON: <BLUSHES> Aw, thank mew.

KATNISS: So how has your life changed?

BRONSON: Well, I have feline siblings and Humans who actually play with me – I love my cat dancer toys.

KATNISS: You are also a big fan of the catnip banana.

BRONSON: It’s the best, isn’t it? I bite and kick it.

KATNISS: Mine is filled with teethmarks.

BRONSON: MOL! In addition to playing with me, these crafty Humans also have changed my food and they move the dish so I have to walk to it. They even move it when I’m eating.

Greens are part of a good diet

KATNISS: Clever. But they haven’t made you do water therapy yet?

BRONSON: Thank God, no. I mean, I heard it works wonders but I hate water. Right meow, the places that do water therapy are quite a distance from our home, so I’ve been spared.

KATNISS: What about that giant hamster wheel for cats? Those look cool.

BRONSON: Pawlease. I think I’d just sit in the middle of it. And flop out the sides. But I do have goals. My Meowmy and Cat Dad have a line of cat fur-niture they sell and someday, I’d like to be able to climb up on those shelves or sit in the hammock without it collapsing to the floor.

Trying out the hammock

KATNISS: I love their fur-niture! I’ve seen it at CatCon.

BRONSON: Well, when I see the others jump up on the shelves, I think it might be fun to do that, too. I’m only three years old. I should be jumping around and playing, you know?

KATNISS: Bronson, you’ve got a great cattitude. And as you start to lose weight, you’ll be feline better and you’ll be able to reach those goals.

BRONSON: I’m looking furward to it! But furst… a nap.