She’s frowny-faced, bossy and full of cattitude. She’s everything you could want in an Internet cat…and so much meowr.

KATNISS: Widget, you have a perma-frown, but are you really a sourpuss?

WIDGET: Well, I’ve been refur-ed to as sassy. Pissy. Frowny. Hissy. Bougie. Demanding. Judgmental. Self Righteous. Independent. In other words, yes.

KATNISS: What’s one thing that really brings a frown to your face?

WIDGET: That people think I was bred this way when I’m all about adopt-don’t-shop. I could be the spokespurrrrson for rescue-foster-adopt! I also purrmote spay and neuter – the overpawpulation of cats has got to stop!

KATNISS: I love your passion! You may be tiny, but you have a very big purrsonality. Tell me your hisstory.

WIDGET: I was brought into the Carroll County Humane Society with my littermates when we were about 5 weeks old. The purresident of the Humane Society got us set up in a foster home. I could tell this purrson we were assigned to was instantly smitten with my short legs and frowny face.  Befur long, I was what they call a “foster fail.” No surpurrise, really.

KATNISS: Concatulations. Now I know you live with other cats – how’s that working out fur you?

WIDGET: Despite my low-to-the-ground size, I look down upon my fursiblings. I rule the house with an iron paw! It’s not uncommon fur me to walk up and smack the shiznit out of one of the other cats just because I feel like it! Also, I absolutely hate whenever a new foster kitty is brought into the home. I’ll hiss and spit until I’m sure everyone knows my felines.

KATNISS: There must be something you like. Treats, purrhaps?

WIDGET: Despite what my chonky body would indicate, I’m actually very picky. My taste in treats changes from day to day. I might love something one day and then the next day, absolutely hate it. But I do love cardboard. Amazon Prime boxes are my favfurite! 

KATNISS: How about toys?

WIDGET: Aside from the usual – laser pointer, catnip pillow, birdie on a string – I also love hair ties, lip balm, and pieces of a newspaper or magazine after I rip it to shreds. 

KATNISS: Befur your Human finishes reading it, I assume.

WIDGET: Mew know it.

KATNISS: What things really bother you, purrsonally?

WIDGET: Anything that breathes or touches me. Vacuum cleaner. Empty food bowl. Being told no! Vibrating toothbrushes. Not being the center of attention. Being brushed. The constant removal of eye boogers. This interview.

KATNISS: And I’m sure you’d pre-fur not to be constantly mistaken fur a boy.

WIDGET: Look, I realize I have a beer gut, a mullet that sometimes looks like a bad comb over, and a unisex name….but I’m a female feline who likes to feel purrtty and feminine. Also, fluff off! 

KATNISS: On that note, thank mew fur the interview…I think.

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