Chloe attacking her Banana
The legalization of weed is making headlines in the news, but cats don’t care about that. We are, however, interested in a different recreational drug: The Yeowww! Catnip Banana. Why is this purrticular toy dominating the cat mews cycle? We can’t say fur sure, but the testimonials speak fur themselves.
CHLOE
“I love my catnip banana. If I don’t know what I’d do if I lost it. I might just die!”
BERKELEY
“I never understood the a-peel of catnip until the Banana. My Humans tried triple-strength catnip, organic brands, and the really pricey stuff at CatCon, with zero results. My self-esteem was in tatters – I felt ‘defective.’ But then my Meowmy was wrapping up the Banana for my sisters for Christmas. I smelled it across the room – it was like nothing I’d ever sensed before. I jumped on the bed, claimed it for myself, and bit the hell out of it. It took me 12 years to respond to catnip but I am happy to repurrt that I am no longer ‘defective.'”
HARLEY
“My Banana is purrfectly ameowzing. It was bought as a gift for someone else, but I sniffed it out and claimed it as my own, much like Berkeley. It’s mine now and I love it. Love it, I tell you!”
FRECKLES
“Who says catnip makes you paranoid? Do I look paranoid? You’re not getting this from me! You’ll have to pry it out of my cold, dead paws!”
NAPA and VINO
Napa: “We watched in horror as a cat burglar came onto our property and tried to steal a package left for us. That package contained the Banana.” Vino: “Luckily, the thief was caught in the act and didn’t make off with our Banana. That would’ve been a tragedy fur sure.”
Cat burglar caught in the act
BARONESS ALEX VON GUDMUNSEN
“Yo, man, this is some purrty good nip.”
MY OWN PURRSONAL BANANA
“As a reporter I usually try to stay purrfessional, interviewing other cats without turning the focus on meow, but I feel compelled to add my purrsonal experience with the Banana. My Humom bought it for me for Christmas and hid it on a shelf up high. I smelled it from across the room, jumped up on the shelf and found it. I was mesmerized, entranced, beguiled by the Banana. I bit it, bunny-kicked it, tossed it wildly into the air and basically lost my cool. I have zero regrets and plan on doing it again soon.”
Teeth marks on my banana
